Lettahs Fom Maine Marketing Strategy, Chinese Food With Side Order of Tums

I had Chinese food late last night. Around 12:30, I discovered that I can add Chinese food to the growing list of foods I can't eat after 7. Here is the new, updated list:

• Pizza
• Nachos
• Peppers and onions (which I don't like anyway, unless they are caramelized)
• Anything with cheese (see PIZZA and NACHOS)
• Chinese food

And so it goes. Lesson learned. I did get to watch something funny as a result of my terrible heartburn. I got out of bed, took some Tums, went into the living room, and turned on Seth Meyer's late night show, which I've never seen because I don't stay up that late. Anyway, John Oliver was on, talking about the World Cup. He is really, really funny. Almost funny enough to make me forget the burning in my stomach.

I've come up with a new marketing strategy for my Lettahs From Maine books. Actually, it's the only strategy I've come up with, and it's not much of a strategy. I've made flyers and I'm going to place them on the windows of cars in the beach parking lots. Genius, right?

There it is. A little rough and a little blurry, but you get the idea. I just hope other writers and marketing experts don't go stealing my great strategy.

I've now written 20,000 words of my latest novel. The working title is Lottery Winners. Gives you an idea of what the story's about, at least. It's a rainy day, in the 60's, so I think it's a good day to work on the novel.

Redbeacon, Scripted, Ted Williams

It's been a long time, I know. I've been busy writing for Redbeacon and editing for Scripted. I'd like to be busier. I've also been editing texts for a European dating site, Relatieplanet. I haven't gotten paid yet, so I'm not sure if the work I've done is for nothing. If I do get paid, great. If not, I'll be pretty disappointed.

I've been doing some work on my latest novel. It's coming together nicely, although I only  have about 15,000 words written. I've been working on this for 6 months and have completely redone it twice, but now it's finally going in the direction I'm looking for. My goal is to finish the first draft by the end of August.

I'm currently reading a book about Ted Williams called The Kid. It's about 800 pages long and I'm halfway through. I'm really enjoying it and think any fan of Williams, the Red Sox, or the history of Major League Baseball will like it. It's taking me forever to read, which is the only bad thing about it because I have other books I want to get to.

Yesterday, I put on my sunglasses and my son Sam said, "Now all you need to look cool is a motorcycle, two guns, and a full head of hair." I'm not sure where he gets his image of what cool looks like. I used to have the motorcycle and the full head of hair, but those days are long gone.m

Here's my latest column from the Sanford News, "Parents Need to Follow the (bleeping) Parking Rules". It's about the way people drive and park in the school parking lot when I drop off and pick up my son. I think it's one of my better columns. In my opinion, any column about swearing should be fun.