How sex caused me to lose my hair

Here's a story about how my son thinks that sex made me lose my hair:

A few months ago, my 9-year-old son told me that he knew all about sex and I didn't have to explain anything to him. I asked where he acquired this information and he said the playground. The same place we all learned it, I guess.

So I asked him to tell me what he'd heard, in the hopes that I might learn something. It's never too late, right? So he said that sex is when a man and a woman lay down together naked and one of them sticks their penis in the other one's butt. Which is about what I'd expect from third-grade sex experts.

I then explained to him what sex is and how it works (as much as I know, anyway). It was an awkward conversation. Then he asked, "What's the point? I mean, why would you even want to do that?" After saying that adults get feelings for each other and blah blah blah, I said, "Oh! It's to make children. The actual point of sex is to reproduce, or make children."

So yesterday, he was making fun of my lack of hair. I told him that I had plenty of hair before he was born (okay, I lied) and that it only started falling out when he was born. And then he asked, "Why, does sex make you lose your hair?"

Pretty clever, I thought.

Another one of his jokes about my hair:
Sam: Dad, do you think you'd be good in a club? I think you would be.
Me: Oh yeah? What kind of club?
Sam: Hair Club.

More (good) reviews would make me happy; Judd Apatow's Sick in the Head

I noticed yesterday that I got a bad review for Bobby's House recently on Amazon.com. Because it's only the third review, that's not good. But, the thing is, Bobby's House has been my best selling book this year. Every month, it's outsold my other books. Strange, really, because Lettahs From Maine was always my biggest seller.

Now, this doesn't mean that it's on the bestsellers list, but it is selling a few copies every month. This means that people are buying it, but nobody reviews it. I know that somebody is enjoying it, though. The two books of mine that people say are their favorites are usually Bobby's House and Lettahs From Maine, and they are very different. So if everyone who liked Bobby's House would review it, I'd be happy. I'm sure there are millions (hundreds, dozens?) of you out there! However, it seems that nobody reviews anything unless they are dissatisfied. I'm the same way.

Enough about that. I'm currently reading Sick in the Head, by Judd Apatow. It's a collection of interviews with comedians. It's OK. I like most of the people he interviews in the book, that part is great. But he often talks way too much about himself, which I call the Jon Stewart Syndrome. I like Jon Stewart, but when interviewing someone he has a habit of talking more about himself than about the person being interviewed.

 Plus, I don't care for Judd Apatow's movies. I've never made it through one of them. Since they seem to do very well at the box office, I'm going to admit that I don't speak for the general public when I say this.

Oh, wait. I liked Funny People. So once again, I contradict myself.

Here's a link to my latest Sanford News column. It's about my son Sam and I attending the Sanford Mainers baseball games and his getting an autograph and picture with his favorite player.

Review of Harper Lee's 'Go Set A Watchman' - It stinks.

I read Harper Lee's Go Set A Watchman last week. I can give you my review in two words - It stinks.

However, I will say a little more. This book should never have been published. It reads like a first draft, which it probably is. There is a reason Harper Lee didn't publish this book for over 50 years. They say it was recently discovered, but I don't believe that. She knew it was there and didn't want it published. I should add that To Kill a Mockingbird is one of my favorite novels. Maybe that's why this one bothers me so much.

I'm now reading Scribe, by Bob Ryan. Nothing great, but good if you are a fan of Boston sports.

Summer is coming to an end. Well, I may be rushing it, but it feels that way. The Sanford Mainers baseball team have concluded their season. Memorial Day is the unofficial start to summer, and for me the end of the Mainers season is the unofficial end. I don't want it to end, and I'm sure we have lots of nice weather and barbecues ahead of us. At least I hope so.

Today I ordered a  new ergonomic office chair. I'm hoping that will help with my shoulder and back problems and get me back to working on my next novel soon. I know that there are a lot of people looking forward to it. Right? RIGHT?