Smart investing can lead to the freedom to buy a 2012 Kia Forte

Here is my column from this week's Sanford News. It's about the mind-boggling financial success I've had investing in stocks. Those of you who are considering investing will probably decide to do so after reading this. I hope that those people who are inspired to invest because of my column and experience tremendous success will remember me and share a small portion of their success. Or a large portion. Either way.

Speaking of financial success, we bought a 2012 Kia Forte this week. Yes, with financial success comes the freedom to purchase things that once seemed unattainable, like a 2012 Kia Forte. Actually, it seems like a good car. My wife likes it and that's the important thing, since it's her car.

I finished reading Jaws, which was different in many ways from the movie, including the way it ended. In some ways, I liked it better than the movie.

One thing I always have problems with when writing a story is coming up with names. This morning I was working on a novel and couldn't come up with any names, so I opened an old phone book for some ideas. For instance for the name of a high school principal I found the last name Craggy. Principal Craggy. I like the sound of that.

I usually mix and match - a first name from this column, a last name from that column. I do this quite often when writing stories. I should probably just ask my 8-year-old son for name ideas, I'm sure he'd come up with some good ones.

The world's greatest mug

Yesterday, I was given a new mug. This is no ordinary mug. It has a picture on it that Samuel made in art class earlier this year. It's a guy riding a wave and saying "da da da da da." I thought it must be because of me - Sam used to call me Da Da - but he looked at me like I was extremely dense and said, "He's singing the Batman theme - "da da da da da da da, Batman!"

Spring has finally arrived, it's been over 50 degrees every day and the snow is gone. I'm hoping that the change in weather is going to give me the ambition to write a great novel. Or even a mediocre novel. Any novel, really. Even a short story would be nice.

I'm reading Jaws, the novel by Peter Benchley that the classic movie is based on. It's pretty good, but it's very different in some ways from the movie. For instance, the character of Hooper, played in the movie by Richard Dreyfus, is really good looking and sleeps with Brody's wife. That would have made for a very different movie, for sure.

I think I'll do some writing now on the new novel I'm chipping away at. I don't want to give anything away, but let's just say it is fantastic and unlike anything ever written before. Are you interested yet? I know I am. I can't wait to finish writing it and find out if the hype is true.