Just spinning my wheels

The bad news (always bad news first) is that we are buried in snow. In case you think I am exaggerating, here is the view from our living room window:

The snow is about a foot from our roof. I'm beginning to feel a little claustrophobic. It's not much better out back, either. But the good news is, it got over 30 degrees today so some of the snow melted. By June I should be able to see what's going on outside my house.

I've been working on a novel for the past couple of weeks. Starting is always the hardest part for me. I've written about ten pages, but I'm actually only on page 2 because I delete so much as I'm starting, trying to go in the right direction. Not to bring up winter again, but it's like having your wheels spin on ice, until you hit the tar below. Then you take off. I'm still waiting to hit the tar.

I just read Insane City, by Dave Barry. It's probably the funniest book I've ever read, laugh out loud funny. Considering I'd never really cared for Dave Barry before, it was a surprise. Right now I'm reading Nobody's Fool, by Richard Russo. One of my all-time favorite books. I read the same book about three years ago and I swear the words have gotten smaller.

Other than that, it's been a pretty quiet couple of weeks. The kids were on vacation last week so I spent most of it in my office, hiding. Oh, and I had a column in the Sanford News last week, about home repair. Stay tuned for even more excitement!

Fifty Shades of Gary

The big news is that my new book, Love Lettahs From Maine, is now available at Amazon.com in print and as a Kindle download. It made me laugh to write it, so I hope it will amuse others. Here it is:

Of course, there's a picture of it to the on the side of this page, too. If you click on that it will take you right to the Amazon.com page. Technology, huh?

Now you are probably thinking, wow, two huge books in one year! Love Lettahs From Maine and the Harper Lee sequel to To Kill a Mockingbird. That's why I released my book now, instead of in the summer. I didn't want my book to take away from her sales.  After all, Harper Lee hasn't released a book in over fifty years, so I'll let her have the number one spot. Yes, I really am that thoughtful and generous.

A friend suggested that I write a book and title it Fifty Shades of Gary. Mine will be about a middle-aged balding man who has been faithful to the same woman for ten years. They have kids and both work multiple jobs and on the rare occasions that they are alone they are usually too tired to even stay awake, let alone think about sex. There will be exciting, provocative things in the book, like the sleep mask his wife puts on when she wants to sleep and he's watching television. There will also be lubricants, like the oil he puts in his snowblower. There'll also be toys that plug in, like the generator and the weed wacker, and some that use batteries, like the kids' remote control cars. And the setting will be a ranch house in Maine that's surrounded by snow for half the year. Sounds as exciting as Fifty Shades of Grey, doesn't it? I just hope I don't get in trouble for plagiarism.

Until I get around to writing that, though, I'll work on other things. Like shoveling out from the foot and a half of snow we are expecting this weekend. One month until spring, one month until spring, one month until spring...