How to stop the acocado hand-slicing epidemic

I've seen several articles recently about avocados sending people to the emergency room. This interested me because I eat an avocado, tomato and cheese sandwich on toast almost every day for lunch. I wondered, are people getting sick from avocados? Am I next?

No, and no. People are going to the hospital because they are slicing their hands open while cutting the avocado. It sounds pretty minor, until you really think about how bad those cuts could be. Reading further, I found that many of the injuries are very bad, with people cutting nerves and tendons in their hands. I cut tendons and nerves in my hand when I was about 20 or 21, and it's no fun. Of course, I did it by falling on a beer bottle while drunk, and as they say, you can't fix stupid.

But you can stop the avocado hand-slicing epidemic with this simple, inexpensive tool:

Wicked fancy, ain't it? It's actually an avocado tool that my wife bought me a few months ago. It cost under $5 on Amazon.com. The bottom part, the part that looks like a knife? Well, it is a knife, and it slices through an avocado like a knife through buttah. BUT, it's plastic, it's not sharp and won't hurt your hand. You can run your finger right over it. Amazing. The middle part is for removing the seed, and the top end is to remove the avocado. For someone who eats avocado every day, it's probably the most important utensil in the kitchen.

So this is my public service announcement to those who love avocados like I do. Seriously, I think hospitals should stock them and hand them out to people who come in with avocado-related injuries. Of course, they'd probably end up charging $800 for it, so maybe you're better off to look for one online and avoid the hospital altogether.