Thursday, November 20, 2014

Stephen King Revival Book Signing

I took my son Sam to a Stephen King book signing in Portland on Monday. He was signing his new book, Revival, and they only gave out 400 tickets. It was very much like an assembly line - you stand in a very long line, when you begin to get close they tell you to turn your book to the title page, then you hand it to an assistant, and by the time you stand in front of him, he's already signing your book. Here's what we got:


He did speak to us, though, and he didn't speak to many people. He glanced down at Sam as he was signing and said, "This is like being a kid and being punished by having to write your name 500 times." Then he looked at Sam and asked, "What grade are you in, son?" So that was cool.

I can't wait until my books make the bestseller lists. Then I, too, will be able to make people do ridiculous things like standing in long lines just to meet me for 5 seconds.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Kissing is Key to a Happy Marriage

Yes, my November column in the Sanford News is titled, "Kissing is Key to a Happy Marriage". It's about kissing, if you were wondering. If you enjoy kissing, or know somebody who does, you may be interested in reading this column.

I got the new Stephen King book, Revival, and a ticket to his book signing next Monday at Books A Million in Portland, Maine. They only gave out 400, I believe. We got to the store at around 6:30am and there were already about 150 people there. Some people slept overnight. Normally, I'm not the type to sit in the cold like an idiot, but it was fun. I saw the sun rise, which is very rare. Well, it's not rare for the sun to rise, but it's rare that I see it. Below is the list of rules for the book signing.


Kind of blurry, I know. And that is not a stain on the photo - my camera lens does that. But the list says that there are no selfies, and non-flash photos can be taken from a designated area. They take us inside in groups every 15 minutes. Stephen King will not do a speech, will only sign Revival, and will not personalize the book. It's like a military operation. Actually, it's like getting soup from the Soup Nazi. But I imagine that Stephen King gets sick of everyone yakking his ear off, and he must have some really weird fans. So it's understandable, and I'm looking forward to getting my book signed.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

FurnaceCompare.com, NFL column

Yes, it has been a long time since I've posted on here. I'd like to apologize sincerely to my many, many fans.

Seriously, I've been busy. I'm now doing freelance writing work for FurnaceCompare.com. I write and edit series and brand profiles and reviews for furnaces, central air conditioners, heat pumps, water heaters, etc., along with writing and editing articles. Here's an article about buying a central air conditioner that I wrote last week.  Not the most exciting topic to some people, but I'm enjoying it. It'll do until my novels start climbing the bestseller lists. So if you want to help me out, go to Amazon.com and buy my books!

I've had a few Sanford News columns recently, as well. My latest column, from last week's Sanford News, is about all the jobs I've had and the one's I'm glad I didn't have. And a few weeks ago I wrote a column about the NFL that I think is one of my best.

As far as my fiction writing, I have been struggling with a novel for almost a year and I finally shelved it. Maybe I'll come back to it, maybe not. But now I'm writing a novel, set in 1976, about a summer camp director whose band is on the verge of being signed to a record contract. It's going well, I'm hoping to have the first draft finished by the end of the year but that may be pushing it.

Stephen King is having a book signing event in Portland next month and I'm hoping to go. Maybe I'll give him a signed copy of one of my books. Maybe not. But someday.

Monday, August 4, 2014

How to Paint Paneling

I'm not sure if I mentioned in an earlier post that I'd received a couple of copies of Falling Star magazine with my story, "Date Night at the Drive-in" inside. Here is a picture of the magazine. I wish the story was available online because I really like and want more people to read it.



It's been a busy summer, which is great. My son Sam and I have been going to baseball games every week, sometimes two or three times a week. Add that to his Tai Kwon Do, Kung Fu, and swimming lessons, and we don't have many free nights. Right now my wife and I are painting our living room. It is paneling, so we are just painting over it. Every room in our house is paneled and I've painted three of them so far. It looks great when finished, but it's a lot of work. For your reading pleasure, here is an article I wrote about painting paneling. I published it on Yahoo Contributor Network, but I think they've shut that down so this is now the only place to see it. It's a Gary Sprague interior painting exclusive. You never know what you are going to learn here.

Tips on How to Paint Paneling

     
If the dark paneled walls of your living room remind you of bell bottoms, ashtrays and The Brady Bunch, it may be time to make a change. Unless you like that sort of thing, of course. But for the sake of this discussion, let's assume that you want to move into the twenty-first century.
How can you get rid of the paneling? Well, taking down paneling and installing some other type of wall board, such as sheetrock, can be time-consuming. It can also be expensive, especially if a professional contractor needs to be hired. A good alternative is to simply paint over the paneling. But how can I do that, you ask? It's pretty easy, especially if you pay attention to a few details.

Tape It
As with any interior painting job, you will want to get some painters tape and cover up trim, electrical outlets, and anything else you don't want covered in paint

Don't Use Paint Mixed With Primer
You will need to put down a coat of primer before you paint the paneling. Paint mixed with primer is a great time saver on some surfaces, but it doesn't work on paneling. Sorry, but you'll have to put down a coat of primer first. Use the same color paint and primer, if possible.

Use a Paintbrush to Cover the Seams
Before applying the paint with a roller, paint the seams with a paintbrush. Yes, that's right, every single seam. A roller, even an extra-thick roller, will not go deep enough to fully paint the paneling seams. It's a much longer process, yes, but it really does a much better job. Unfortunately, this will need to be done for both the primer and the paint.

Use a Good Quality Paint
Painting paneling usually requires more than one coat. With a good-quality paint, you can get away with two coats. With a poorer quality paint, it will take a least three, especially if the paneling is dark. Trust me, I made this mistake once. The extra cost of the better paint is worth not having to do an extra coat or two.

Monday, July 7, 2014

Vegetable Garden Column

Another beautiful day in Maine. Today is my son Sam's 8th birthday, so he's very excited about that. I can't believe it's been 8  years. He's getting so big, and I'm getting so old.

Here's the link to my latest Sanford News column. It's all about my vegetable garden, which is one of my favorite parts of summer. I went out this morning and I now have zucchini, summer squash, and tomatoes started. Very exciting. No peas yet, which is strange because they usually come first, but I think we'll have some soon.

My writing isn't going as well as I would like. It's strange how as a writer, you go through these periods where you can't write fast enough because the ideas are coming so fast, and at other times you hope that what you are putting down isn't as bad as you think it is.

 Because my novel isn't coming along as well as I'd hoped, I decided to write a short story to break things up. Short stories are easy for me, usually much easier than novels. But now I'm finding it difficult to even write this short story. I have a great idea, too. My friend is a mail man and tells me all kinds of funny stories from his route. I'm just going about it from the wrong direction, I think. I'm writing it kind of serious, and it needs to be more of a humorous story. I'll figure it out.

Well, I'll cut this short so I can do some writing and then enjoy the rest of the day.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Lettahs Fom Maine Marketing Strategy, Chinese Food With Side Order of Tums

I had Chinese food late last night. Around 12:30, I discovered that I can add Chinese food to the growing list of foods I can't eat after 7. Here is the new, updated list:

  • Pizza
  • Nachos
  • Peppers and onions (which I don't like anyway, unless they are caramelized)
  • Anything with cheese (see PIZZA and NACHOS)
  • Chinese food
And so it goes. Lesson learned. I did get to watch something funny as a result of my terrible heartburn. I got out of bed, took some Tums, went into the living room, and turned on Seth Meyer's late night show, which I've never seen because I don't stay up that late. Anyway, John Oliver was on, talking about the World Cup. He is really, really funny. Almost funny enough to make me forget the burning in my stomach.

I've come up with a new marketing strategy for my Lettahs From Maine books. Actually, it's the only strategy I've come up with, and it's not much of a strategy. I've made flyers and I'm going to place them on the windows of cars in the beach parking lots. Genius, right?



There it is. A little rough and a little blurry, but you get the idea. I just hope other writers and marketing experts don't go stealing my great strategy.

I've now written 20,000 words of my latest novel. The working title is Lottery Winners. Gives you an idea of what the story's about, at least. It's a rainy day, in the 60's, so I think it's a good day to work on the novel.




Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Redbeacon, Scripted, Ted Williams

It's been a long time, I know. I've been busy writing for Redbeacon and editing for Scripted. I'd like to be busier. I've also been editing texts for a European dating site, Relatieplanet. I haven't gotten paid yet, so I'm not sure if the work I've done is for nothing. If I do get paid, great. If not, I'll be pretty disappointed.

I've been doing some work on my latest novel. It's coming together nicely, although I only  have about 15,000 words written. I've been working on this for 6 months and have completely redone it twice, but now it's finally going in the direction I'm looking for. My goal is to finish the first draft by the end of August.

I'm currently reading a book about Ted Williams called The Kid. It's about 800 pages long and I'm halfway through. I'm really enjoying it and think any fan of Williams, the Red Sox, or the history of Major League Baseball will like it. It's taking me forever to read, which is the only bad thing about it because I have other books I want to get to.

Yesterday, I put on my sunglasses and my son Sam said, "Now all you need to look cool is a motorcycle, two guns, and a full head of hair." I'm not sure where he gets his image of what cool looks like. I used to have the motorcycle and the full head of hair, but those days are long gone.m

Here's my latest column from the Sanford News, "Parents Need to Follow the (bleeping) Parking Rules". It's about the way people drive and park in the school parking lot when I drop off and pick up my son. I think it's one of my better columns. In my opinion, any column about swearing should be fun.