How we exercise in Maine during the wintah

It's not easy to stay in shape during a Maine winter. Yes, we get exercise by shoveling and trudging through the high snow. But as far as going for walks or runs or any of that other fun stuff we can do during the summer, good luck. You'll either slip on the ice and break your hip or get pneumonia because it's so cold. We exercise to stay healthy, and getting injured or sick is not healthy.

Now some people might say I'm being a wimp. Plenty of other people ski and snowshoe and find ways to stay active outdoors in the winter. Good for them. I don't like cold. It's that simple. My son is the same way. I know some parents force their kids to go outside. My mother used to lock us out of the house for hours during the winter. Let me tell you, mittens get awfully cold when they get wet and freeze over. Like having icicles on your hands.

I won't do that to my son. He's like me - he'd rather stay inside and read than go out in the snow. So we bought a treadmill, plus there are exercise routines online that he likes to do. Here's how we get our exercise during the winter:

But spring is coming, and soon we'll get outside for some exercise. And we are supposed to get a big snowstorm next week, so we'll get a lot of exercise shoveling out from that.

I've had a couple of things published in the past few weeks - a column in the Sanford News about how bad health care has gotten, and a post on Grown and Flown about my son leaving college and moving back home.

Right now I'm reading George Carlin's Last Words. I read it when it first came out, it's pretty good. I'm thinking about starting Stephen King's Dark Tower series next. I don't know, though. People seem to like it but it doesn't sound interesting to me at all. So maybe I shouldn't read it.

Lewis Black show at the Merrill Auditorium in Portland, Maine

This past weekend my wife and I went to the big city of Portland, Maine and saw Lewis Black at the Merrill Auditorium.

This was a big night for us because we rarely get to go out. And we love the Merrill Auditorium, although we haven't been there together since 2009 to see Bill Cosby. That tells you how rarely we go out. We also saw Cosby there in 2006. And, funnily, the people sitting next to us said that the last time they'd been to the Merrill Auditorium was to see Bill Cosby.Things didn't work out very well, at least for Bill Cosby. But I'll admit, he was really funny.

Our seats for Lewis Black were up in the balcony, second row from the back. Sounds terrible, but the great thing about the Merrill Auditorium is that you can see perfectly from every seat. I really don't think there's a bad seat in the house. The only problem is that the amount of stairs you need to climb to reach the balcony would tire out a triathlete. And the only bathrooms are on the ground floor. Not the best setup.

Lewis Black was very funny. I like his delivery, the anger building up until he explodes. I'm not a very political person, but I knew enough to be familiar with everything he talked about. My wife is not political at all, prefers to not know anything, and I think she laughed more than I did. The best part of his show, in my opinion, was near the end, when he talked about Portland while doing a live internet feed.

So that was our exciting Saturday night. Hopefully we won't have to wait another eight years before we get to see another concert or show again.

A few thoughts on the Patriots - Steelers Game

Here are a few thoughts from last night's game:

• Bill Belichick is a great coach, the best in the game. Not only because of his game strategy, but because he takes average players and gets the absolute most out of them. His teams play with discipline, as a team instead of as individuals. I think that's the key to his success. Take any player out of the equation and he replaces him and continues to win. They lose Gronk, they win. Take out Brady, they win. And so on.
• Terry Bradshaw was right - Mike Tomlin is not a great coach. His teams sometimes lack discipline and his game plans are very questionable. I don't think discipline was a problem last night, though; I think poor strategy was. He must be a good coach, because he's reached two Super Bowls, but he's had really good teams. Once again, he was completely outcoached by Belichick. I don't think that will ever change.
• The NFL needs to change its rules and allow the quarterback and receivers to get hit. I don't know what I'm watching, but it isn't football. How can a quarterback not throw for 300 yards with these rules? When teams can win with almost no running plays, that's not football. When a receiver gets hit, or touched, and a penalty is called, that's not football. Every passing record that gets broken in modern times is meaningless and should come with an asterisk.
• Speaking of rule changes, stop letting receivers wear gloves. They're all like Spider-Man out there, reaching out with one hand and making amazing catches because the ball sticks to the glove like glue. And yet, some of them still manage to drop the ball. Again, how can records not get broken when the quarterback can't be hit, the receivers can't get hit, and they wear Spider-Man gloves?
• Tom Brady is very good, but I think he's greatly benefitted from today's rules, as well as from his coach and system. He's very accurate. But see how Brady flinches every time someone gets close to him? I believe if you swap him and Aaron Rodgers, Rodgers with the Patriots would win a Super Bowl almost ever year while Brady would have the nervous system of Barney Fife after getting knocked around like a piñata in Green Bay. Every time he's out, Belichick replaces him with an average or below-average quarterback and just keeps on winning. But, no matter what anyone thinks about him as a quarterback, Brady appears to be a genuinely nice guy and a fantastic role model, which really is more important than anything that happens on the field. 
• I like Ben Roethlisberger because he's a good clutch quarterback, extremely tough, and could have played back when quarterbacks got hit. He is not a really good quarterback on the level of Brady or Aaron Rodgers. Still, aside from Rodgers, I think Big Ben is who I'd want leading my team because of his toughness.
• I miss Troy Polamalu. That guy was so fun to watch.
• The Patriots are not a dynasty, no matter how many times Phil Simms says they are. Winning 1 Super Bowl in the past 12 years, which is what the Patriots have done, does not make you a dynasty. The best regular season team in the league, yes. But not a dynasty.

Several weeks ago I predicted that the Patriots would win the Super Bowl, and it looks like I may be right. The only good thing about this is that I usually get a good chuckle out of Belichick's press conferences. I love the way he handles reporters, especially when they ask stupid questions. No one since Steven Wright has gotten so many laughs (from me, at least) from such a deadpan delivery.

So congratulations to Patriots fans - you have the best coach in the game, you play together as a team and deserved to win last night. As for us Steelers fans, we'll dry our tears with our Terrible Towels and hope that some changes are made.

Dear Adam West...

My birthday was a couple of weeks ago, and among my gifts from my wife were two books that I really wanted:

I'm looking forward to reading the Norm MacDonald book. The latest episode of Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee has him in it, and I had tears in my eyes from laughing when I watched it last night.

The other book, Back to the Batcave, is one I've wanted for a long time. My wife got it on Amazon, but then I mentioned that I was going to read it, sell it, and then buy a signed copy on Adamwest.com. So then she bought me a signed copy, which I'm glad she told me before I ordered one. But, I supposed there's nothing wrong with having two copies of Adam West's signed book.

Last night, I did something I've never done before: I wrote a letter to a celebrity. I felt like Marcia Brady writing to Davy Jones. I sent an email to the Adam West site telling him how much my son and I like Batman and that I'm enjoying his book. I included a link to a newspaper column I wrote about Batman three years ago, mentioning that it got picked up by MeTV.

Now, I don't expect to hear back from Adam West, and I certainly don't expect him to stop by my  house like Davy Jones did on the Brady Bunch. But it would be pretty cool if he did.

A Teacher First and other writing gigs

My new novel, A Teacher First, is now available on Amazon.com in print and as a Kindle edition. I realize that for many people the latest is always the greatest, but I really do believe that this is the best story I've written. Check it out and let me know if you agree.

I've been doing a lot of guest blogging lately. In September I had work published by Grown and Flown, Ripped Jeans and Bifocals, and Writers Weekly, as well as having one of my short stories appear in Page & Spine. I haven't written many short stories lately so I was happy to get one of the few I've written published. I have ideas for a couple others which I hope to write in the next month or so.

Because I've been having success in recent months with columns and essays, I'd like to focus more on this sort of thing. The problem is finding markets for my work. I'm sure I'll figure it all out, but it would be nice to get a regular gig writing for a couple of publications. Until then, though, I trudge on.

I'm off now to write another column. I've got Bruce Springsteen's The River on the turntable and a candle burning, so the creative juices are ready to flow (I hope). Hopefully it won't be another two months before my next blog post.

10 Albums I'd Want if Stranded on a Deserted Island

I used to wonder a lot about the 10 albums I'd want if I were stranded on a deserted island. I've spent a lot of time thinking about this, and my list has changed as my musical tastes have changed over the years.

Of course, I'd have to start with a couple of Beatles albums. I'd probably go with Abbey Road and Revolver.

But then I thought that I may want the White Album, which led to wondering if that counted as one album or two because it's a double album. I'd want something tropical and sunny, because I'm on a tropical island, and so I'd take Jimmy Buffett's Greatest Hits and the Beach Boys Endless Summer (again, a double album, so does it count as one or two).

I'd also probably take Journey Escape, Eagles Hotel California and Bruce Springsteen's The River (a third double album). For harder rock, I'd take Van Halen Women and Children First, AC/DC Highway to Hell and Guns & Roses Appetite For Destruction.

 Due to the double album question, I have no idea how many choices I have left, but I know I'd also want The Masterplan and Definitely Maybe by Oasis and Just Enough Education to Perform by Stereophonics.

I'm not sure if these last ones were even released on vinyl, so I then wondered if I would be allowed to have a CD player instead of a record player. This would solve my double album problem, because a double album takes up only one CD, allowing me to take most of my choices to a deserted island. And would it be possible for me to bring 20, or even 15? Because 10 just isn't enough.

Then I realized that regardless of which choice I made, I wouldn't have electricity on a deserted island. Plus, would I have the foresight to pack a record player or CD player, and 10 albums or CD's? Doubtful. So even if I had the music, I'd have no way to play it.

Unless I was stranded with the Professor...

My graduation essay in Grown and Flown

It's sunny and 80 degrees and I'm sitting on the couch in my living room. Here in Maine we get about a dozen of these days per year, if we're lucky. I asked my son if he wanted to go to the lake but he said no. He's now in his room sorting his Pokeman cards. Oh well, he's focused and quiet. I may sit on the back deck and read. Or maybe I'll just take a nap.

I recently had an essay that I wrote about my son's high school graduation published on the website Grown and Flown. It's called Graduation and the Heart-Rending Optimism of Youth. I like this one, if I do say so myself (and I do). And here's a picture of the family after graduation:

I also had an essay accepted by the site Ripped Jeans and Bifocals, which I will share when it is published. I've apparently discovered the parenting / aging market. It's usually what I write about in my columns for the Sanford News, so it's really not a stretch for me.

Well, I think I'll go take that nap now. I will definitely not take so long between posts next time.